Abraham had a servant who loved him and loved his son Isaac. Each of us should have people in our lives who love us and minister to us. These too should love our children and minister to them. There should be people in our lives who assist us praying for and looking for a spouse for our children. They will keep their eyes out for a good one and warn us of a bad one.
ABRAHAM, THE FRIEND OF GOD
by Delbert Young
Helping Your Children Find A Spouse
Helping Your Children Find A Spouse
Scriptures: Genesis 24:1-8, Genesis 6:4-5, Deuteronomy 1:28, Deuteronomy 2:10-11, Genesis 14:5, Deuteronomy 2:20, Deuteronomy 9:2, Joshua 11:21-22, Joshua 12:4, Joshua 14:12, Joshua 14:15, 1 Samuel 17:4, 2 Samuel 21:16, Deuteronomy 7:2-4, Deuteronomy 20:17, Joshua 6:21, Genesis 24:8, Psalms 37:23, Genesis 24:9, Genesis 47:29
Genesis 24:1 And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.
Genesis 24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
Genesis 24:3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
Genesis 24:4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
Genesis 24:5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?
Genesis 24:6 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
Genesis 24:7 The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
Genesis 24:8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.
A. thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites
1. Abraham was old, and well stricken in age
Abraham was now 140 years old. Sarah had recently passed away. Abraham knows that His time to pass was in the near future. He had been blessed in every way possible. “….the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things.” The only thing Abraham yet desired was grandchildren left in the earth. Not just any grandchildren. Abraham wanted grandchildren that would be seed for the promise. Isaac was 40 years old. The customary age to begin having children was around 30 (Gen 11:14, 18, 22, 24).
There comes a time in our lives when possessions and material blessings are no longer important. What becomes important are our children and what we are leaving for the kingdom and kingdom promises. It is that way with me and I hope that way with you. I desire make disciples to continue the message given me. I desire to children and grandchildren to continue the kingdom.
2. his eldest servant
Abraham had a servant who loved him and loved his son Isaac. Jesus said if we want to be greatest in the kingdom we must be servant to all (Mat 20:26, 27; Mar 9:35; 10:43, 44). Each of us should have people in our lives who love us and minister to us. These too should love our children and minister to them. There should be people in our lives who assist us praying for and looking for a spouse for our children. They will keep their eyes out for a good one and warn us of a bad one. We then also should help and serve others in their quest to have a righteous spouse for their children.
3. I will make thee swear by the LORD
We should see the gravity here of what Abraham is doing and how he feels about it. This is not just an oath. It is a curse if the oath is not fulfilled. We will discuss this later. This is serious stuff. Abraham involves the God of heaven who also is the God of earth.
Who our children marry is serious stuff. It is not seen to only make them happy. What is produced from the union will bless or curse the kingdom. The spouse our child marries can take them deeper into the kingdom or drag them out of the kingdom and into hell. The spouse our child marries can take our grandchildren into the kingdom or into hell. This is serious–very serious.
The oath that the servant was to swear to consisted of basically three (3) elements:
a. thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites (v. 3)
b. thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son(v. 4)
c. Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again (v. 6, 8)
Though grandchildren were desired desperately, Abraham was not willing to sacrifice his son to fulfill this deep desire. In fact, he knew if not done properly the seed would be defiled. Abraham–the friend of God–was “picky” about who his child married.
Isaac was obviously submitted to his parent’s desires as to whom he should marry. Most often we find that parents are indeed “picky”. It is the children who are rebellious. Their rebellion most often will end in a life of misery and heartache. How many battered wives, abused children, alcoholic situations, poverty families, prison experiences, adulterous affairs, and divorces could have been avoided had children only listened to their parents concerning their marriage? It is definitely not because the parents do not want the child happy and married. The opposite is true.
Abraham sets three parameters for his child’s marriage. We would do well to set these parameters as well in helping our children in marriage. First, Isaac’s wife could not be a Canaanite. Second, the wife must be from Mesopotamia. Third, Isaac could not go back to the land of Abraham’s kindred–Mesopotamia.
4. thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites (v. 3)
5. thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son (v. 4)
It would be easy here to do the “unequally yoked” teaching of 2 Corinthians 2:14. Though I am sure it is somewhat included in the equation, it actually does not fit the context. At least not at this point. Either of the two, a Canaanite or a Mesopotamiaite, would be an unequal yoking. Obviously the Canaanites worshiped other gods, but so did Abraham’s kindred (Gen 31:30).
Why was it better for Isaac to marry a woman from Mesopotamia than a woman from Canaan? Unless a person takes time to study this the answer will sound like a science fiction story. Remember the giants of Genesis 6? Because of those giants there was a sudden wickedness that filled the populace in the days of Noah. So much wickedness that man’s thoughts were only evil continually.
Genesis 6:4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
Genesis 6:5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
The Lord God brought the flood destroying all mankind except Noah and his family. We saw after much very serious study that the only biblical answer to where the giants causing all this wickedness came from was from fallen angels. These “came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown” (Gen 6:4) (get message “Noah, Perfect In His Generations”). They were able to remove people from following God and cause them to be evil continually. Also remember that Ham’s son Canaan was cursed by Noah (get message “Noah’s Nakedness”) in Genesis chapter 9. Canaan became the Canaanites and through the Canaanites those giants reappear.
Many have no concept of how many references there are to giants and the people of giants in the scriptures. These came from fallen angels. A diligent study will reveal that fact. Their purpose was to defile mankind and the blood of the promised seed. They removed people from following God by coming upon the women of men. Canaan was cursed and the curse was the fallen angels coming upon the Canaanites. This defiling of the Canaanites eventually brought their destruction. Following are several scripture references of giants in the land of Canaan.
Deuteronomy 1:28 What are we getting into? Our brothers who spied out the land have frightened us with their report. They say that the people of the land are tall and powerful, and that the walls of their cities rise high into the sky! They have even seen giants there – the descendants of the Anakim!’ (TLB)
Deuteronomy 2:10 The Emims dwelt therein in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims;
Deuteronomy 2:11 Which also were accounted giants, as the Anakims; but the Moabites call them Emims.
Genesis 14:5 And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer, and the kings that were with him, and smote the
Rephaims in Ashteroth Karnaim, and the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emims in Shaveh Kiriathaim,
Deuteronomy 2:20 That also was accounted a land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time; and the Ammonites call them Zamzummims;
Deuteronomy 9:2 A people great and tall, the children of the Anakims, whom thou knowest, and of whom thou hast heard say, Who can stand before the children of Anak!
Joshua 11:21 And at that time came Joshua, and cut off the Anakims from the mountains, from Hebron, from Debir, from Anab, and from all the mountains of Judah, and from all the mountains of Israel: Joshua destroyed them utterly with their cities.
Joshua 11:22 There was none of the Anakims left in the land of the children of Israel: only in Gaza, in Gath, and in Ashdod, there remained.
Joshua 12:4 And the coast of Og king of Bashan, which was of the remnant of the giants, that dwelt at Ashtaroth and at Edrei,
Joshua 14:12 Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the LORD spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the LORD will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the LORD said.
Joshua 14:15 And the name of Hebron before was Kirjatharba; which Arba was a great man among the Anakims. And the land had rest from war.
1 Samuel 17:4 And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span.
2 Samuel 21:16 And Ishbibenob, which was of the sons of the giant, the weight of whose spear weighed three hundred shekels of brass in weight, he being girded with a new sword, thought to have slain David.
The Anakims were giants. The Emims were giants. The Rephaims were giants. The Zamzummims were giants. Giants dwelt in Gaza, Gath, and Ashdod. Bashan had giants. Kirjatharba had giants. The Philistines had giants. The land was defiled with these demon giants. It is because of this the Lord said to utterly destroy the Canaanites.
Deuteronomy 7:2 And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them:
Deuteronomy 7:3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
Deuteronomy 7:4 For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.
The purpose of the demon giants was to turn the people of God from following God and to serve other gods. Sadly, and a point we often miss, is when God’s people permitted their children to marry with the Canaanites God’s people would suffer judgment. “….so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.” The Canaanites were to be utterly destroyed.
Deuteronomy 20:17 But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee:
What does it mean to “utterly destroy”?
Joshua 6:21 And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword.
The land was to be purged. The people were to be utterly destroyed. That thought sounds cruel and ungodly. We have trouble understanding why a kind and merciful God would utterly destroy people. The reason was to preserve His people and most importantly His Seed. That Seed would crush the head of the serpent. It must be preserved at all cost. Abraham was in the land. He saw the giants and knew how they came to be. Abraham knew of their past (Noah) affect upon humanity. He also knew of their future termination (Gen 15:16-21). He did not want his son attached in any way to that. The people in the land of his kindred (Mesopotamia) were at least of the pure seed of Seth through Noah and Shem. If Isaac went there the prophetic promise would be forsaken and Isaac would turn to their false gods. Bring her to Isaac and both the promise and the seed would be secure.
6. Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again (v. 6, 8)
Understanding why Isaac should not go back to the land of kindred or Mesopotamia is easier to teach than why Isaac should not marry a Canaanite. The prophetic promise was for the land of Canaan. That is where the Lord had told Abraham that Abraham would be blessed and where Abraham’s seed would prosper. Canaan would be the Promised Land (Gen 12:1, 7; 13:15, etc.). For Isaac to go back to the land of his kindred would be forsaking the prophetic promise thus forsaking God’s purpose and grace. Where is our individual prophetic promises? This is a good question to ask our children. That is where the true eternal blessings abide.
Genesis 24:8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.
7. then thou shalt be clear from this my oath
The servant asked a very good question. “What if I find a woman, but she will not be willing to come back with me to this land?” The servant’s reasoning was that Isaac would need to go to her to secure the arrangement. Abraham said, “Not so.” If she won’t come then she is not the one.” Abraham’s reasoning was that God would secure the seed by sending his angel before the servant. Wow! What a truth. The Lord is so interested in the seed of His people that He will send His angel to prepare all involved. We have a tendency to get ahead of the angel. Actually what we do is not really trust the Lord in this matter. Abraham said, “Hey, if it doesn’t work out then it’s not God. Just do not take my son away from the promise or allow him to marry a Canaanite.”
It is sometimes difficult to totally trust the Lord in these situations. This is why it is so vitally important to train up our children in the correct way. It is so important to instruct them diligently. If done correctly then the steps should be ordered of the Lord and firm.
Psalms 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
Psalms 37:23 If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; (NIV)
Genesis 24:9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.
8. put his hand under the thigh of Abraham
Abraham opened the dialogue with the servant telling him that Abraham wanted the servant to take a very serious oath. The oath was taken by the servant putting his hand under the inner thigh of Abraham. To us it sounds weird, but this was extremely serious to Abraham. The Bible Knowledge Commentary says,
“Eliezer’s putting his hand under the patriarch’s thigh (cf. 47:29) was a solemn sign that if the oath were not carried out, the children who would be born to Abraham would avenge the servant’s unfaithfulness.”1
Isaac’s son Jacob will later have his son Joseph to make an oath using the same oath sign.
Genesis 47:29 And the time drew nigh that Israel must die: and he called his son Joseph, and said unto him, If now I have found grace in thy sight, put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh, and deal kindly and truly with me; bury me not, I pray thee, in Egypt:
Wycliffe Bible Commentary says,
“Putting a hand under another’s thigh was a solemn way of signifying that if the oath were violated, the children, yet unborn, would avenge the act of disloyalty. By means of the oath, the servant would be bound more effectively to secure an acceptable wife for Isaac.”2
We note that before the servant would take the oath he first asked all the questions he needed answered. He made three promises. First that he would not allow Isaac to marry a Canaanite. Second that he would bring back a wife for Isaac. Third if the woman would not come with the servant the servant would not allow Isaac to go to the land of Abraham’s kindred. So important were these issues to Abraham that an oath of this magnitude was required.
B. How do we make all this applicable to our lives today?
A. We can be blessed of God in “all things” and be very rich and prosperous, but one day we will be old and think about our departure. At that time the most important thing we will leave is not our wealth. The most important thing we will leave on this planet at our passing is seed to continue the kingdom and its purposes.
B. We should raise our children by training them properly when young in the things of God. They must be taught to avoid defiling the seed. They must be taught that the serpent’s plan is for demonic influences to come upon children of God producing giants. This will then take the family to hell. It should be worked into their thinking that wrong marriages can and will take them and their children away from God. Wrong marriages can and will take them and their children to hell. It is the serpent’s plan.
C. Allowing wrong marriages will bring the Lord’s judgment upon the parents for allowing the marriages. Parents must do all possible to stop a marriage that would take their children and their grandchildren, God’s kingdom seed, from following the Lord God. God’s judgment will come upon parent’s who do not protect God’s seed.
D. Also at all cost the children should stay at the place the prophetic promise is to be fulfilled. Here is where we need the word of the Lord through prophecies. What has the Lord said? If we do not have a word of prophecy we need to get one. It is vital for the seed’s continuance and blessings of God.
E. We need help. Abraham had a servant who was willing to give Abraham an oath. We need each other to help each other bring our children into their purposes and blessings. The servant loved Abraham, but he loved Isaac also. We need to do all we can to protect each other’s kingdom seed.
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