A child must see his or her parents dedicated to each other and dedicated to God. The strongest families in the kingdom of God are the families who’s members are dedicated to one another. My family is dedicated to one another. We love one another. Because we are dedicated to one another, my children have a proper understanding of being dedicated to the church and dedicated to the Lord. The family must be a priority and the Lord must be a priority. It’s not “either or” with family and God. It’s “both and” when it comes to family and God.

BUILDING A HOME OR A HELL (01)

Can You Do Anything With My Child

by Delbert Young

Can You Do Anything With My Child

Video

audio

Can You Do Anything With My Child

Scriptures: Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 1:8-9, Proverbs 2:1-11, Proverbs 2:12-15, Proverbs 2:16-19, Proverbs 2:20, Proverbs 2:21-22, Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 10:13, Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 29:17, Proverbs 20:11, Proverbs 22:6-15, Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 23:24-25, Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 10:13, Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 26:3, Proverbs 20:30, Proverbs 22:6

Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.

Hosea 4:6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children. (NIV)

Hosea 4:6 speaks about parents and children. The obvious problem is the lack of knowledge. That lack can destroy. Someone once said, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” That certainly is not true.

We saw earlier that the Lord does not forget our children (KJV) or ignore our children (NIV) to be mean. We can relate to having a rebellious child that refuses to listen to his or her parents. The child does things his or her way bringing devastation upon their own self. If the rebellious child will not listen to the parents, there is nothing left for the parent to do. This is especially true when the child becomes older and beyond the years of parental discipline.

Train Up A Child…. What Does That Mean

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

NIV – 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

NASV – 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

But what does train up a child in the way he should go mean? What is the “it” the child will never depart from? The preacher says, “Train up a child….” Your favorite religious person says, “Train up a child….” You read, “Train up a child….,” but what does that mean? Does it mean that child might slip away, but will come back one day? Does it men the child will never depart from it even when he or she is old. What do we train the to do? What do we use to train them? What does that mean?

Dedicated

The best way to interpret the Bible is by allowing the Bible to interpret itself. Interestingly, the word translated train (chanak Strong’s #2596) is used three other times. It is translated as dedicated in all the other uses as in the dedication of a house to the Lord (Deu 20:5; 1Ki 8:63; 2Ch 7:5). Only in Proverbs 22:6 do we find this word translated as train. Every other place in the Bible the same word is translated dedicated. We see that when we talk about “training a child,” we are talking about dedicating the child in the way he or she should go.

We are talking about something far superior than simply training. To keep our children from straying away from God and making a mess of their lives, we must get the dedicated.

Dedicated to Family and the Lord

How do we do this? First, they need to see the parents dedicated. Children must see the parents dedicated to each other and dedicated to God. The strongest families in the kingdom of God are the families who’s members are dedicated to one another. My family is dedicated to one another. We love one another. Because we are dedicated to one another, my children have a proper understanding of being dedicated to the church and dedicated to the Lord.

The family must be a priority and the Lord must be a priority. It’s not “either or” with family and God. It’s “both and” when it comes to family and God. Family and God are in the same thought and with the same thrust. I am dedicated to my family, but I am dedicated to church and my spiritual family. The children need to see the relation of these two. The children need to hear that their parents are dedicated to each other and hear that their parents are dedicated to the Lord and church. They need to hear the parents communicating with each other and they must hear the parents communicating with the Lord in prayer and church members in love. They need to see the parents spending time together with each other and the family. They need to see the parents spending time with the Lord in reading the word and worship and church. They need to overhear good things coming out of the parent’s mouths about each other, about church and church people, and about the Lord. We train them. We get them dedicated to home and dedicated to God.

We can’t be ignorant of the ways of God and expect our children to turn out perfect. My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Parents are the example of the children. They will do what the parents do.

Dedicated to Hearing You

The thing we are wanting to get across is there is a one primary thing we are training our children to do. That primary thing is to listen to the parents. As I have studied the scriptures and surveyed what it is that we are to train children to do, I have found that it is to hear the parents.

Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Proverbs 1:9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

Do we see that the important thing for the child to do is hear? Both parents instruct. Both parents are necessary. Both parents are to be heard. Why is this so important? The Hebrew word for law in verse eight is towrah (Strong’s #8451). Of course, that is the Jewish law which is called the Torah. Most home schooling today is done by the mom. Most schooling in those days was done at home. Mom was related to the law. The scriptures say to keep the law of mom and hear the instruction of thy father.

The thought of grace in verse nine is a garland upon the head. The garland was a sort of crown given to the victor in an Olympic type contest. The chains about thy neck is gold. By training the child to hear the father and obey the mother, the child is victorious in life and wealthy.

A person’s success is greatly determined by the parents ability to train the child to hear the parents. It can be grace to succeed or grace to fail. It can be a chain of wealth and happiness or a chain of bondage. Our initial graces are given to us by our parents. Things we are initially in bondage to are given to us by our parents. “And the beat goes on, and the beat goes on.”

 

If a child will listen to father in the natural, the child will listen to the Father in the spiritual. If the child will hear mother in the natural, the child will hear the Spirit in the spiritual. We must get our children dedicated to church and dedicated to God. We also must train our children to hear the parents.

Proverbs 2

If we…Then we…When we…Leads to life with results

In this passage there are three “if’s,” two “then’s,” and one “when.” What I want us to see is that “if” we will do these things, “when” your child does them “then” your child will have an abundant life.

Proverbs 2:1-11 My son, if thou wilt receive my words

(the primary thing the child must do is hear. We see this over and over. When dad says no it means no. If it doesn’t mean no then it means nothing. God looks at the man as the head of that house. Let’s say that another way. God looks at the man as god in that house, the one that should be taking control.)

and hide my commandments with thee; so that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;

(Required to build a home. Not built upon love Proverbs 24:3, 4)

 

Yea, if thou criest after knowledge,

(Required to avoid destruction, Hosea 4:6)

and liftest up thy voice for understanding; if thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures

(The child must be trained to seek after knowledge in the same way as seeking money. We go to work every day. We get up everyday and work so we can seek money. Seeking knowledge must be exactly

like that. It is a daily event. It is that important.)

then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler (Shield) to them that walk uprightly. He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints. Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity (Prosperity); yea, every good path.

When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.

(The primary thing we are to train the child up in is to hear the parents. They must be trained to do what you say do. We train the primarily to hear us – receive my words, get my commandments, hear what I say to you, hear what your mother says to you. They must be trained and relate that if they do not do what Father says, there is pain.)

Wisdom teachings from parents will:

Train the child to avoid evil people who lead in crooked ways. There is nothing sadder than watching our children become acquaintances with people we know will end up in prison.

Proverbs 2:12-15 To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, form the man that speaketh froward things; who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness; Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of the wicked; Whose ways are crooked, and they froward in their paths:

If you are like me when you were young, you found yourself running with people that got us in trouble. One of the ways our children will get into trouble is by hanging with the wrong people. The way to keep your child from running with the wrong people is by getting the child to hear you. If we have done it correctly, they associate disobedience with the rod and the child will avoid those people.

Train the child to avoid immoral situations

We live in a time when immorality is the normal. To help your child avoid those, they must learn to hear you.

Proverbs 2:16-19 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.

Train them who they should walk with.

Avoiding evil people is insufficient. We need to train them of whom they should connect. Our children must attach to good people. To do this, they need to hear their parents.

Proverbs 2:20 That thou mayest walk in the way of good men, and keep the paths of the righteous.

 

Give ability to receive and leave inheritance

We live in a society that is in dept. Our country is in dept. Dept is the norm. I worked hard to get out of dept. I want to leave an inheritance for my children and grandchildren. I want my children to have the mentality that they don’t need to be in debt. I want them to hear me say leave an inheritance for my grandchildren.

Proverbs 2:21-22 For the upright shall dwell in the land, and the perfect shall remain in it. But the wicked shall be cut off from the earth, and the transgressors shall be rooted out of it.

I was nineteen or twenty years old. I had not been married long. I was in dept up to my nose. One day I went by the furniture store and saw a new color television set that I wanted. Being only nineteen or twenty, the store wanted a cosigner. I called my dad to come by and sign with me. He refused and said he would not sign and that I did not need that color television. I got mad and the store said that since I was married, they would let me have the set. I rebelled and bought the set against the wishes of my dad. When the payments came due, I didn’t have the money to make the payments. The store was calling me on the phone and threatening to come and reposes my color television. Here is my point. My dad never spanked me. My mom did and my grandmothers spanked me, but my dad never spanked me. When he told me not to get that set, I did not associate pain with disobedience. He told me not to buy the set, but he never taught me to hear him.

 

Train the child to hear you.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

What does this verse mean? I hope we have seen that a primary thing it means is to get the child dedicated to hearing the parents. If the parents are dedicated to one another and dedicated to the Lord, the child will be dedicated to the Lord. If the child learns to hear and obey the earthly parents, the child will be able to hear and obey the heavenly Father and the Spirit. Then, even when the person is old, they will not depart from it.

Third Texts

Why the Rod, but not only the rod.

Proverbs 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

NIV – 10:13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.

NASV – 10:13 On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.

III.          How to train

Rod

Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

NIV – 20:11Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.

NASV – 20:11 It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself If his conduct is pure and right.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

NIV – 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

NASV – 23:13-14 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol.

Proverbs 23:24-25 The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

NIV – 23:24-25 The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!

NASV 23:24-25 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

NIV – 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

NASV – 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

NIV – 10:13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.

NASV – 10:13 On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

NIV – 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

NASV – 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.

NIV – 26:3 A whip for the horse, a halter for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!

NASV – 26:3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools.

Proverbs 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

NIV – 20:30 Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.

NASV – 20:30 Stripes that wound scour away evil, And strokes reach the innermost parts.

Purpose: What does it mean to train a child? The Rod

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

NIV – 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

NASV – 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it

What does it mean – Child? What is a biblical child? Train? What does this mean?

Train

Strong’s reference number: 2596

Hebrew: chanak

Derivation: a primary word

Definition: to narrow; to discipline

Rod

Why the Rod? What is the purpose of the rod?

Proverbs 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

NIV – 10:13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.

NASV – 10:13 On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.

The purpose of the rod is very simple and clear. It is to develop judgment and understanding. Its purpose is not to injure. Its purpose is not to vent anger

Scriptures

Third Texts: Proverbs 10:13; 13:24; 19:18; 20:11; 20:30; 22:15; 23:13, 14; 23:24, 25; 26:3; 29:15; 29:17

Rod

Not only the rod.

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

NIV – 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

NASV – 6:4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I believe in the rod. I believe in different forms of discipline, but unless you incorporate these with admonition and instruction of the Lord you still will not get the results you want.

The child must be dedicated. Dedicate a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

NIV – 20:11Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.

NASV – 20:11 It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself If his conduct is pure and right.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

NIV – 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

NASV – 23:13-14 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with the rod, And deliver his soul from Sheol.

Proverbs 23:24-25 The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

NIV – 23:24-25 The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!

NASV 23:24-25 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you.

 

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

NIV – 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

NASV – 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

NIV – 10:13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.

NASV – 10:13 On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

NIV – 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

NASV – 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.

NIV – 26:3 A whip for the horse, a halter for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools!

NASV – 26:3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools.

Proverbs 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

NIV – 20:30 Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.

NASV – 20:30 Stripes that wound scour away evil, And strokes reach the innermost parts

It is difficult to have a biblical family without the rod. It is difficult to have children who are not full of foolishness without the rod. Using it correctly requires the wisdom of the Lord.

Other Related Sermons:

A Number 10 Father – Father’s Day sermon video audio notes

Please Be Quiet – sermon video audio notes

Small Room – Father’s Day sermon video audio notes

Also see:

Sermons Change The World

Life Gate Church sermons by Delbert Young