Peace At Home – We spend a lot of time with our family members. This part is a good thing, but sometimes it is not a fun thing. The home situation was the first place in scripture where conflict and finger pointing began. The home was the first place the serpent showed up. Think about this. When we lose our peace, it means the serpent is close.

By Pastor Delbert Young

Peace At Home

Peace In The Home 

Scriptures: 2 Samuel 5:13, Psalms 4:8, Colossians 3:12-21, 2 Kings 4:9-10, Colossians 3:21, Proverbs 17:1

Parents needed to discipline their little 6-year-old daughter named Sherrie. A short time later at the supper table, dad looked at Sherrie and said, Sherrie, you need to pray, so while you are praying bless the food.” Sherrie bowed her head, folded her hands, and said, “I thank Thee, Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.” Sometimes people in our homes seem to be our enemies.

We spend a lot of time with our family members. This part is a good thing, but sometimes it is not a fun thing. The home situation was the first place in scripture where conflict and finger pointing began. The home was the first place the serpent showed up. Think about this. When we lose our peace, it means the serpent is close. The serpent quickly proceeded to get into Adam’s home and deceived the woman (1Ti 2:14). Adam blamed the woman saying, “This woman you gave me…” The woman blamed the snake. Eve would have pain in childbirth. Adam would sweat to feed his family. The Lord evicted them all and the family lost everything including peace. Later, Cain killed his brother Abel. The first home was not a pretty picture. Even they experienced the absence of PEACE IN THE HOME!

When people live together, conflict is inevitable. Family members know a lot about each other. They know how each other tick and what ticks each other off. Often the ticking you hear is a time bomb about to explode and blast away every bit of peace in the home. Children seem to know exactly how to explode the parents and appear to do it purposefully. Families live in confined living spaces. Siblings often share a bedroom. Husbands and wives share a bed. You eat at the same table, ride in the same car (sometimes through several states), try to live on the same budget, and use the same commode. In a normal home situation, conflict is inevitable and unavoidable. When conflict happens, mean things are said. Yelling happens along with hurt feelings and it escalates from there. I know that no one here has ever done this, but I have heard of holes punched in walls and doors. I have heard of furniture kicked and things thrown. Sadly, I have also heard of worse.

I gave some thought as to how to develop this lesson. I thought it would be great to go to one of the “perfect” families in the Bible who LIVED IN PEACE and use the family as an example for the remainder of us. I only had one problem with this approach. There is no “perfect” family in the Bible who LIVED IN PEACE.

So, I thought I would approach it from the other direction. I want to tell you about a family most of us would consider dysfunctional. Have you ever studied King David’s home and home life? You only think your home is strange. Let’s take a very abbreviated look at King David’s home.

2 Samuel 5:13 And David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.

The previous verse gives us some idea of the complexity of David’s home. The Bible gives us more information in 1st Chronicles 3:1-9. If I counted correctly, there are eight wives listed, but the concubines are not listed. The Hebrew word for concubine is piylegesh (Strong’s #6370) and means a paramour (illicit lover). David had 19 sons from the listed wives and one daughter named Tamar. The passage does not tell us the number of children from the concubines.

Think about this family. The man had eight wives and many “illicit lovers.” There were nineteen boys, one daughter, and only God knows how many “illicit children.” Conflict in the home was inevitable. I am sure you know about the Bathsheba incident, which was a national scandal. I am sure it was rough on the other wives and children. If all the wives, concubines and children were not enough chaos, one of David’s sons Amnon raped his sister Tamar, David’s daughter. Then Absalom, Tamar’s brother had Amnon killed because David did not deal with Amnon. Later, Absalom led a rebellion against David and David’s commander killed him. After David’s death, another son, Solomon, had another brother put to death Adonijah.

David’s home was a mess. No matter how terrible and out of order you feel your home may be, it could not be as bad as David’s home. Yet, with all the turmoil in his home, here is what David said.

Psalms 4:8 I will both lay me down in PEACE, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

David said he could lay himself down and sleep in peace. I imagine some of you flipping around in bed, sighing, and moaning about your family situations. What would you do if you had David’s situations?

The point I am making with David is LIVING IN PEACE IN YOUR HOME does not and cannot depend upon things being perfect in your family. If you are waiting on things to be perfect for you to have peace in your family, you will never have peace.

I understand a person can live in hell, but be in peace. I understand David could snore and sleep in peace. However, I do not think anyone else in his family could lie down and sleep in peace. Neither do I think the “peace” David had is the same peace you want in your home. So, let’s look a little deeper into the word of God and see how to have a more “overall” PEACE IN YOUR HOME. The Bible gives us much help concerning LIVING IN PEACE AT HOME.

Colossians 3:12-21 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. LET THE PEACE OF CHRIST RULE IN YOUR HEARTS, SINCE AS MEMBERS OF ONE BODY YOU WERE CALLED TO PEACE. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Isn’t this a great passage for the home? How would you like your home to be a fulfillment of this passage? It said Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. All the wonderful thoughts and teachings in the passage center on the peace of Christ ruling in hearts. How would it be if every heart in your home was ruled by the peace of Christ? For this to happen you will need to do what the passage speaks. Thepeace of Christ ruling in hearts is a fruit of those things. Let’s look at some of those things. There will be seven points. How about grading yourself and your home? See how many of the seven “peace points” you do and get a “peace level” for you home.

CLOTH YOURSELVES WITH COMPASSION, KINDNESS, HUMILITY, GENTLENESS AND PATIENCE: I remember reading a story about two siblings – a boy and girl. The boy instigated a fuss between them. The mother went straight to the problem and told him, “Fix your heart.” The problem was a heart problem. The peace of Christ was not ruling.

It says cloth yourselves with… When you lose your peace, you have undressed your hearts. You expose yourself and do not show Christ. You need to fix your heart, or, if you will, dress your heart withcompassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. From this will come the fruit of the peace of Christ ruling in the hearts of your family. Do you have compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience in your home? If so, give yourself a plus one. If not, a minus one.

BEAR WITH EACH OTHER AND FORGIVE WHATEVER GRIEVANCES YOU MAY HAVE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER. FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU. I read a story about two businessmen who had been college roommates. They met at a convention, sat, and talked until very late at night. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives. When they saw each other the next day, one asked the other, “What did your wife say about your coming in so late?” He answered and said, “Oh, she got historical.” The first man asked, “Don’t you mean hysterical?” “No, she got historical. She gave me a history lesson about everything I ever did wrong.” Aren’t you glad this is not how the Lord forgave you? The peace of Christ ruling in the hearts of family members is fruit of forgiveness and bearing with each other. You must forgive to have PEACE IN THE HOME. Give yourself another plus or minus one.

TEACH AND ADMONISH ONE ANOTHER WITH ALL WISDOM, AND AS YOU SING PSALMS, HYMNS AND SPIRITUAL SONGS WITH GRATITUDE IN YOUR HEARTS TO GOD.This sounds like a little church in your home. Your home, not your church, should be the primary place to teach, admonish (reprove, caution, warn, reprimand), and sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.Have you ever attempted to teach your children the ways of the Lord and they reject everything you said? Have you tried to get your children to listen to “Christian” music? Have you attempted to teach them to be grateful? If you have difficulty in areas of teaching, music, and gratitude with your children, you probably do not have a lot of PEACE IN YOU HOME.

2 Kings 4:9-10 She said to her husband, I know that this man who often comes our way is a holy man of God. LET’S MAKE A SMALL ROOM on the roof and put in it a bed and a table, a chair and a lamp for him. Then he can stay there whenever he comes to us.

The man and woman made a small room for the spiritual, or, if you will, a little church in their home. Interestingly, it was in this little church, the prophet prophesied to the barren woman she would have a child and she did have a son. Amazingly, later, the child became sick and died. However, it was in this little church, the prophet raised the child from the dead. How important is a little church in your home? If you will have a little church in your home, your children will have a prophetic spiritual birth and rise from the death of sin. There is no telling what will happen if you have a little church in your home. You will definitely have some peace. The peace of Christ ruling in the hearts of your family members is fruit from a little church in your home. Give another plus or minus one.

WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS, AS IS FITTING IN THE LORD. Some women dislike this scripture. The reason they dislike it is there is usually no PEACE IN THE HOME. I am thinking about a woman who lived in a home experiencing tumult and pandemonium. Chaos and anger were normal. In this environment, the fruit of the peace of Christ ruling in her heart could not develop. Husbands, if you want your wife to submit to you as is fitting in the Lord, you need to incorporate the things we are discussing here into your home. Give another plus or minus one. How are you doing?

HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES AND DO NOT BE HARSH WITH THEM. Isn’t it interesting we husbands need to be told to not be harsh with our wives? Husbands, you will not have peace by being harsh with your wife. You may not know it, but if you are harsh then your wife is planning her escape. The peace of Christ ruling in the hearts of your family members is a fruit ofhusbands loving their wives and not being harsh with them. But, before I leave this thought, wives, help your husband on this one. Do not nag him. Find something for which you can commend him. Work with him a little. How is your “peace score” developing for your home?

CHILDREN, OBEY YOUR PARENTS IN EVERYTHING, FOR THIS PLEASES THE LORD.Children dislike this one. Children, life will be so much better for you if you will obey your parents. Here is what will happen if you will. Over the years, your parents will develop a great deal of trust in you and this developed trust will get you anything you want. You will be able to go nearly any place you want. It is like a huge ring of freedom. This pleases the Lord and now you have the Lord’s blessing on you also. Disobey, and the ring becomes smaller and smaller. Who needs to even say the peace of Christ ruling in the hearts of your family is fruit produced by children obeying their parents? How is your home on this one? Add or deduct another point to your “peace score.”


(NLT) Colossians 3:21 Fathers, DON‘T AGGRAVATE your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.

I will be coming from the avenue of fathers because of the scripture reference, but mom, examine your heart as well. We are dealing with peace in the home today. This applies to you moms as well.

Fathers come home tired wanting some quiet. The children are being children and noisy. The father yells or worse. A child is disrespectful. The father yells or worse. A child is disobedient and the father yells or worse. An aggravation begins in the child. All they see is the father angry and yelling. He or she becomes bitter toward the father. To the child, it seems he or she can never satisfy the father. A wall of bitterness develops between the children, especially male children, and the father. The child becomes discouraged and stops trying to obey and satisfy the parents. This is especially true when the father does not cut out some “special time” for the children. The father gets busy with work and the things he wants to do and the children feel they are not important to dad. This causes a wall to develop between the mother and father. Aggravation, bitterness, and rebellion enter your home. Everything but peace is in your home. Dad, it is not you cannot discipline. Your children expect you to discipline them. It is the consistent yelling, anger, and making your children feel unimportant that is the problem. It is the always putting your job and what you want above them. King James uses the term provoke. The NIV saysembitter. The NLT says aggravate. My point is, this is a process taking place over time, and only YOUR TIME will fix it. How is your home on this “peace point”? Add or deduct another point.

How is the PEACE IN YOUR HOME? We all begin at “ground zero” concerning PEACE IN THE HOME. Then, we add the things bringing peace, or do the opposites and deduct peace. How is it with your home?

Proverbs 17:1 Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.

Peace in a home is more valuable than wealth and feasts. We can have a home filled with dysfunction, as did David, or, we can have a home where the peace of Christ rules in your hearts.

Other Related Sermons:

Challenge to Belong – sermon video audio notes

Destruction and Rejection of a Home – sermon video audio notes

Helping Your Children Find A Spouse sermon notes series

Also see:

Sermons Change The World

Life Gate Church sermons by Delbert Young