Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 What Jesus Taught About Divorce

Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 records Jesus’ clearest teaching on marriage and divorce. Many ask, what did Jesus say about divorce? In Matthew 19:3-9, Jesus explains that marriage was designed by God to be a lifelong covenant from the beginning. He teaches that divorce was permitted because of hardness of heart, not because it reflected God’s original intent.

Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 records Jesus’ clearest and most direct teaching on marriage and divorce. When we carefully study Matthew 19 Verses 1-12, we discover that Jesus takes us back to the beginning and reveals God’s eternal design for marriage.

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GOSPEL OF MATTHEW BIBLE STUDY SERIES
This study of Matthew: Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 What Jesus Taught About Divorce is part of a verse-by-verse teaching series through the Gospel of Matthew.
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What Did Jesus Say About Divorce in Matthew 19?

Jesus was clear and uncompromising in His teaching on divorce. In Matthew 19:4-6, He pointed back to Genesis and said that God joined one man and one woman together as one flesh for life. He taught that divorce was permitted because of hardness of heart, not because it reflected God’s design (Matthew 19:8). According to Jesus, marriage is a lifelong covenant, and only fornication qualifies as a ground for divorce (Matthew 19:9).

What Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 Teaches

Marriage is God’s original covenant design
Divorce was permitted because of the hardness of heart
Legal loopholes miss the heart of the law
Jesus restores God’s original intent
Faithfulness reflects eternal perspective

Audio

Scriptures used in this lesson:

Matthew 19:11, Matthew 19:1–2, Matthew 19:3, Deuteronomy 24:1, Mark 10:11–12, Matthew 19:4–6, Genesis 2:24–25, Genesis 2:18–25, Matthew 19:7, Matthew 19:8, Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:18, Matthew 19:9, Matthew 15:19, Mark 7:21–23, Matthew 19:10, Matthew 19:11, Matthew 19:12, 1 Corinthians 7:7–8, 1 Corinthians 7:9, 1 Corinthians 9:5, 1 Corinthians 7:20,

The Weight of Teaching in Matthew 19 Verses 1-12

You see what an awful task I have. I am going to minister what Jesus said about divorce. I have not looked forward to this. It has been tough. Whenever a minister speaks on this subject, you get uneasy. Your confidence wavers because people you love have suffered through this. You do not want to hurt anyone. At the same time, you want to help others avoid this tragedy. I ask for your prayers and your help, as I am accountable for what I say.

I am also accountable if I say nothing when I should speak. This is an area I must address. It is difficult. You know I love you. I will not hurt anyone intentionally. Still, this is tough. Are you with me?

The Pharisee Mentality in Matthew 19 Verses 1-12

Divorce is an awful, fearful, delicate topic for a teacher. Yet today we go directly into it. How many have truly had clear teaching on divorce? It is often avoided because it is so delicate. I even asked for prayer because I battled with whether to speak on it. I tried to call for help and counsel. Still, I had to face it. This subject cannot be ignored. The Pharisees in Christ’s day and in ours are more interested in escape than overcoming. Their mentality asks how to get out of a marriage rather than how to cleave to it (Genesis 2:24).

Jesus teaches that fornication is the only reason to terminate a marriage, not adultery (Matthew 19:9). Stay with me, and you will understand what I mean. Even the disciples were influenced by the Pharisee mindset. They concluded that if divorce was not allowed for any reason, then it might be better not to marry. That thinking seeks an exit instead of faithfulness. The proper focus is to maintain the marriage and cleave to it (Genesis 2:24).

The Structure of Matthew 19 Verses 1-12

Matthew chapter 19 is divided into three parts. The first section, verses 1-12, addresses divorce. The second section, verses 13-15, concerns the children. The third section, verses 16-30, presents the tragedy of Mammon. Today, we remain in the first section.

Before I go further, I want to read what I wrote there. Then we will look at Scripture in Matthew 19 and go from there. I wrote that Jesus does not avoid the question (Matthew 19:3-9). Sometimes I do. Most ministers dislike this question because there is no easy answer. To justify divorce is incorrect theology (Matthew 19:6; Malachi 2:16). We love our people and do not want to hurt anyone.

In verse 10, the disciples continue the discussion about marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:10). Their thinking had been shaped by the Pharisees’ doctrine (Matthew 19:3). I want to make something clear here. Jesus loved his disciples and valued their sacrifice in ministry (John 13:1). Some of them had faced or would face marital struggles. Some of you have experienced divorce. I love you and appreciate your willingness to serve in the calling he gave us (John 15:16). I do not desire to hurt you any more than Jesus desired to hurt his disciples (John 11:35).

Laying a Foundation in Matthew 19 Verses 1-12

This is a hard question with a hard answer. Still, we must not avoid it. We must learn so we can help ourselves and others (2 Timothy 2:15). I want you to hear my heart. I want you to understand where I am coming from. Now open your Bibles to Matthew chapter 19 (Matthew 19:1-12). I am trying to lay a good foundation so that no one is wounded as we go forward. Look at verse 11 (Matthew 19:11). After answering the Pharisees’ question about divorce, Jesus said that not everyone can receive this teaching, only those to whom it is given (Matthew 19:11).

As we walk verse by verse through Matthew 19 Verses 1-12, we must remember that Jesus is answering a trap question from the Pharisees.

Matthew 19:11

11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

You will receive understanding you have not had before. Judy and I talked this afternoon about this subject. We are responsible to walk in the understanding we have. After tonight, you will know more than you did. That is why I asked how many have heard teaching on this. No one has because it is avoided. Should we avoid it? Or should we learn it so we can prepare the next generation and spare them some of the pain we have known?

Presenting Only What Jesus Said

At some point, we must gain the mentality Jesus had about divorce. That is my goal tonight. I want us to understand divorce in a way we have never understood it. Some of you have suffered through this. In one sense, I am glad because I love your mate. In another sense, I hate what you endured. That creates confusion. Emotions become tangled. You are unsure where you stand. So I will simply present what Jesus said (Matthew 19:3-9) and remove myself from it.

We will look at verses 1 through 12 (Matthew 19:1-12). The passage begins by telling us that after Jesus finished teaching, he left Galilee and went into Judea beyond Jordan. Great crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Matthew 19:1–2

1 And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;
2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.

Up to this point, we have been discussing the retirement ministry. We talked about Jesus withdrawing and taking what I called a vacation. Now he comes out of that season. He leaves Galilee and the region beyond Jordan. He returns to Judea, and the crowds gather again. That is the emphasis – the multitudes are back.

But it is not only the multitudes who come. The Pharisees also arrive. In verse 3 they come to him tempting him and asking whether it is lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause (Matthew 19:3).

Matthew 19:3

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

The Pharisees came to tempt him, but that word tempt means more than test. It was a trap (Matthew 19:3). They were not seeking truth. They wanted to create division (Matthew 22:15). Their goal was dissension. Some listeners had suffered a divorce. If Jesus spoke strongly against divorce, those people could be offended. At the same time, one school of thought taught that a man could divorce for any reason (Deuteronomy 24:1). Another group viewed divorce as tragic and serious (Malachi 2:16). Still another group held a strict legal view. No matter how he answered, someone would be upset.

This is why the subject is often avoided. It is delicate. I do not want to offend anyone. Yet they approached Jesus and asked what he thought about divorce. I have had people do the same to me. They were not always seeking understanding. They wanted to stir up trouble. That is what the Pharisees did. They came to test him, but it was really a trap (Matthew 19:3). If he said no divorce, he would offend some. If he allowed it freely, he would open the door to license. Their question was simple: Can a man divorce his wife for any reason?

To understand their position, we must look at the law of Moses. Their thinking came from Deuteronomy 24:1 (Deuteronomy 24:1).

Deuteronomy 24:1

1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

Returning to the Beginning

This entire issue rests on the meaning of one Hebrew word. That is where the division began. Deuteronomy 24:1 says that if a man finds no favor in his wife because of some uncleanness, he may give her a bill of divorcement and send her away, and she may become another man’s wife. The debate centers on what that word “favour” means.

The Pharisees focused on the phrase “no favor in his eyes.” Some translations say she became displeasing. The word can mean graciousness or beauty. If she lost that in his sight, they believed he could dismiss her. They also emphasized uncleanness. That word can mean nakedness or blemish. Under that view, any dissatisfaction could justify divorce. That was the doctrine they brought to Jesus (Matthew 19:3). This thinking forms the basis of their argument and still influences attitudes toward divorce today. It is humanistic and shallow.

The Competing Interpretations in Israel

In a commentary I read, the point is made that the Pharisees believed Jesus would be trapped no matter how he answered (Matthew 19:3). Among the Jews, there were different interpretations of Deuteronomy 24:1. Some, like Shemiah, limited it to unchastity. Others, like Hiliah, broadened it. They stressed the words no favor and allowed divorce for trivial reasons. Under that view, a man could dismiss his wife over small matters. That is the mindset behind their question (Matthew 19:3).

If Jesus sided with the strict interpretation, he would oppose the liberal group. Many supported that liberal view, even among the disciples, as seen later (Matthew 19:10). If he agreed with the strict side, the Pharisees could accuse him of inconsistency for eating with sinners (Matthew 9:10-11). If he accepted the loose interpretation, serious people would charge him with moral compromise. Those who had suffered divorce would also be watching closely.

The point I want us to see from Hendrickson is that whenever ministry is questioned about divorce, it becomes delicate (Matthew 19:3). That was true then, and it is true now. Still, I believe we can learn something tonight. The situation they faced is the same one we face. We must understand clearly what Jesus said (Matthew 19:4-9). Regardless of our past or prior understanding, we need a renewed perspective and must align with his word from this point forward (Romans 12:2).

My concern is not your past. My concern is where you are going. I want you to have the right understanding so you can teach your children properly (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). If we learn this correctly, it will prevent much future pain. Most of my counseling happens right here when I teach. Then you can minister to others what I taught you. You can open the Word and show them what it says. That is why I give you notes.

Hardness of Heart in Matthew 19 Verses 1-12

In Matthew 19 Verses 1-12, Jesus explains that divorce was permitted because of hardness of heart, not because it reflected God’s original design.

The Pharisees asked whether it was lawful to give a wife a writing of divorcement for every cause (Matthew 19:3). The word “every” means all, any, or any ground. Various translations reflect that broad meaning. Their mindset sought an excuse to exit marriage rather than to maintain it and cleave to it (Genesis 2:24). Their focus was finding a way out instead of making it work (Genesis 2:24). Jesus made clear that divorce was permitted because of hardness of heart, not as God’s design (Matthew 19:8). Marriage should not begin with an escape plan. Yet many today enter marriage thinking divorce is an option if it fails.

The same teaching appears in Mark, where both husband and wife are addressed (Mark 10:11-12).

Mark 10:11–12

11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

If a man leaves a marriage simply because he finds a reason, the answer is no. There is no valid cause to walk away just because you can. Marriage is meant to work (Matthew 19:6).

Matthew 19:4–6

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

What Does “From the Beginning” Mean in Matthew 19?

Jesus answered by asking, have you not read? He pointed them back to the “beginning” (Matthew 19:4; Matthew 19:8). That word “beginning” is the key to this whole passage. He said the one who made them at the beginning made them male and female (Genesis 1:27). Then he said a man shall leave father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). They are no longer two but one flesh. What God has joined together, man must not separate (Matthew 19:6).

Who can tell me what he’s quoting from? Genesis, Genesis chapter 2,

Genesis 2:24–25

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Jesus does not start with Moses. He knows that is where they are getting their doctrine and their philosophy. He goes back beyond Moses to what the Lord God said. Actually, He goes back to the beginning and to the eternal (Genesis 2:24). Also, He asks if we understand what was said at the beginning and what God intended from the start (Genesis 2:24). He points out that the Pharisees built their whole case on Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 24:1). He shows that doctrine must line up with the Father (John 5:19).

A one-verse doctrine is dangerous. I have to be able to show more than one verse when I handle the Word of God (2 Corinthians 13:1). The Pharisees grabbed one place of Scripture to justify what they wanted (Matthew 19:3). They did not want to stay with one woman, so they leaned on their reading of Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 24:1). That same spirit shows up today. People get fed lust everywhere, then they get tired of one another. They still reach for a verse to excuse it (Deuteronomy 24:1).

The Creation Pattern of Marriage

This is why I go back to the beginning (Genesis 2:24). Adam was created in the image of God, and male and female were in that creation. That is why I know the woman is separated out in the next chapter. God said it was not good for the man to be alone, so He made a helpmeet for him. Adam named the creatures, but none of them fit the role of a helpmate. God caused a deep sleep, took the female part from Adam, and made the woman. The pattern ends in one man leaving father and mother, cleaving to his wife, and becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Genesis 2:18–25

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Holiness and Intimacy in Marriage

I have always wanted to deal with verse 25 because it speaks about sex. Sex is holy and not ugly unless we make it that way (Hebrews 13:4). It was created beautiful and good (Genesis 1:31). There is no shame when it is in its proper place. Adam and his wife were naked and not ashamed (Genesis 2:25). That intimacy reflects total openness. It also points to the relationship we should have with Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:31-32). Inside each of us, there should be no shame before Him (Romans 10:11). He sees everything in us, and we stand open before him (Hebrews 4:13).

Adam was created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). He was created male and female in purpose (Genesis 1:27). God then separated those aspects. Scripture shows that a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). The design is for a man and a woman to become one again (Genesis 2:24). That is the foundation of marriage.

When husband and wife come together, life is created (Genesis 1:28). That reflects God’s purpose to replenish the earth and take dominion (Genesis 1:28). Adam was alone and needed a helpmeet (Genesis 2:18). God made the woman and brought her to him (Genesis 2:22). They became one again (Genesis 2:24). Jesus affirmed that from the beginning one man and one woman were joined together (Matthew 19:4-6). Jesus said that was the original design (Matthew 19:8). The purpose of marriage is to become one again (Genesis 2:24).

It seems clear to me that God designed each man and woman who marries to be joined by him (Matthew 19:6). They are divinely suited to one another (Genesis 2:18). I see that in my own marriage. She has been my comfort and helpmeet (Genesis 2:18). When God joins two people, no one should separate them (Matthew 19:6). Any disruption of that union violates his will. Divorce means something has interfered with God’s design. It may be the enemy (Ephesians 6:11). It may be the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). Scripture is clear that what God joins must not be divided (Matthew 19:6). Divorce violates that purpose (Malachi 2:16).

Marriage as Divine Institution

Let me make this clear. In Matthew 19, no one loses salvation because of divorce. No one is removed from the kingdom because of divorce. I want that understood. At the same time, without proper teaching, we cannot pass on a foundation that helps the next generation overcome divorce (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Jesus treated marriage as a divine institution. It is a union meant to last until death (Romans 7:2). Marriage is created as an eternal union (Matthew 19:6). It is not to be interrupted. What God has joined together must not be separated (Matthew 19:6).

I know this is painful for some of you. You may be wondering where you stand. I will address that. Still, those who choose marriage must understand it is a divine institution. It brings two people into an eternal union, not merely a sexual one (Genesis 2:24). If marriage is only about sex, it is humanistic and shallow. That kind of thinking will not sustain it.

Body, Soul, and Spirit Union

We must teach that marriage joins body, soul, and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23). The physical union happens on earth. The spiritual union is heavenly. You may tear up a legal paper on earth, but what about what heaven records (Matthew 19:6)? Marriage is not only earthly. It is joined by God. What God joins cannot be undone by man (Matthew 19:6).

Some may now ask if they are still bound to a former spouse. I hope you had biblical grounds. I will address that shortly. The Pharisees asked why Moses commanded a writing of divorcement (Matthew 19:7).

Matthew 19:7

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

Notice how the Pharisee’s mind works. They focus on the legal side of divorce. Jesus focuses on the eternal nature of marriage. The Pharisee in us looks for a way out. That is the earthly nature. Yet the Christ in you (Colossians 1:27) sees marriage as eternal. That is why you remain. The Pharisee stresses termination. Christ stresses eternity.

Why Did Jesus Say Divorce Was Allowed Because of Hardness of Heart?

They told Jesus that Moses allowed divorce. Jesus answered that Moses permitted it because of the hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8). Then he returned to the beginning and said it was not so (Matthew 19:8).

Matthew 19:8

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

The Lord builds His case solely on the whole grounds of Genesis chapter 1:27.

Genesis 1:27

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Genesis 2:18

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Jesus keeps his emphasis on Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 when he speaks about marriage (Genesis 1:27; Genesis 2:24). He points back to the beginning and to the original design (Genesis 2:24-25). He says Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8). Hardness means a lack of spiritual perception. When spiritual perception is present, divorce is not the goal. That perception sees the eternal nature of marriage (Matthew 19:6).

When someone seeks divorce, they often see only the earthly realm (2 Corinthians 5:7). They see the ceremony and the paper. They think that ending the document ends the union. Jesus teaches otherwise (Matthew 19:6). The eternal purpose was established from the beginning (Matthew 19:4-8). Marriage was joined in the spiritual realm as well as the earthly (Genesis 2:24). The law permitted divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1). Yet that was not the original design (Matthew 19:8).

What Does Matthew 19:9 Mean in Matthew 19 Verses 1-12?

The Exception Clause

One of the most discussed portions of Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 is verse 9, often called the exception clause.

The Lord’s emphasis remains on the eternal purpose. In verse 9, He speaks clearly (Matthew 19:9). He says that putting away a wife, except for fornication, and marrying another results in adultery (Matthew 19:9). The words fornication and adultery are not the same. They are distinct terms used intentionally (Matthew 19:9).

Matthew 19:9

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

What Is the Difference Between Fornication and Adultery?

When Jesus uses the word fornication in (Matthew 19:9), he is not speaking lightly. The Greek word points to harlotry. It includes adultery, but it goes beyond adultery. Fornication reaches into incest (1 Corinthians 5:1). It involves acting as a harlot and indulging unlawful lust of either sex (Romans 1:26-27), and it covers lesbianism, homosexuality, and vile sexual practices (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). A fornicator may also be an adulterer, but fornication is broader and deeper in corruption. The term even connects with the idea of a harlot (Revelation 17:1).

When I look at (Matthew 15:19), I see that adultery and fornication are listed separately. They are not the same word. Out of the heart come adulteries and fornications as distinct sins (Matthew 15:19). That shows Jesus was careful with his language.

Matthew 15:19

19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Now do you see that the two words are separated? Did you see that adulteries and fornications are not the same word? And it’s the same way in Mark 7, 21.

Mark 7:21–23

21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:
23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

Adultery is not the same as fornication (Matthew 15:19). The two words are separate in (Matthew 15:19) and again in (Matthew 19:9). Adultery speaks of a paramour – a lover who unlawfully takes the place of a spouse (Proverbs 6:32). The key idea is one person. An adulterer becomes emotionally involved with one individual who replaces the husband or wife (Exodus 20:14). It may include sexual intercourse, but it centers on emotional attachment. In a spiritual sense, turning from Christ to the world is also adultery (James 4:4).

The Nature of Fornication

Fornication is different (Matthew 19:9). It is perverseness. It is being given over to sexual immorality (Romans 1:24). Fornication includes incest, homosexuality, lesbianism, and other corrupt practices (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). A fornicator pursues unlawful gratification without restraint. An adulterer becomes entangled with one lover. Both words appear in (Matthew 19:9), and Jesus used them deliberately.

According to Jesus, the only ground that permits divorce is fornication (Matthew 19:9). That means a spouse has become so vile that they are given over to it (1 Corinthians 5:5). Not simple adultery, but fornication. If one divorces for any other reason and remarries, adultery results (Matthew 19:9). Continued adultery that becomes a lifestyle moves into fornication (Matthew 19:9). Yet adultery can be forgiven, and a marriage can be restored (John 8:11). From the beginning, God’s purpose has been eternal union (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6).

The point is this. Every avenue must be exhausted to restore a marriage before divorce is considered (Matthew 19:6). Only when a spouse is given over to corruption beyond help does the exception apply (1 Corinthians 5:5; Matthew 19:9). Marriage is precious to God (Hebrews 13:4). Our society treats it lightly, but Jesus does not. When the disciples heard this, they said it might be better not to marry (Matthew 19:10; Mark 10:10-12).

Matthew 19:10

10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

The disciples respond that if marriage is that binding, then it is better not to marry (Matthew 19:10). That reflects a mindset that if marriage is permanent, it may not be worth it. Some would rather avoid the commitment and simply live together, but that violates God’s design (Hebrews 13:4). Their thinking shows how deeply they were influenced by the culture around them (Matthew 19:10). We live in a time shaped by the same corruption of mind (Romans 1:28).

Jesus answers that not everyone can receive this teaching, only those to whom it is given (Matthew 19:11).

Matthew 19:11

11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

How many can truly receive this teaching? It is a hard word (John 6:60). Not everyone can grasp the eternal nature of marriage (Matthew 19:6). I do not want to be harsh, but the truth remains difficult for many.

Matthew 19:12

12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

What does this mean? Jesus speaks about eunuchs in the context of marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:12). A eunuch is a castrated person. He presents two paths. One can marry and walk in an eternal covenant. Or one can become a eunuch for the kingdom (Matthew 19:12).

Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 concludes with Jesus speaking about eunuchs for the kingdom’s sake.

Some are born unable to reproduce (Matthew 19:12). Others are made eunuchs by men (Matthew 19:12), as seen in the Old Testament (2 Kings 20:18; Esther 2:3). Daniel is often thought to have been one (Daniel 1:3-7). There are also those who choose this path for the kingdom’s sake (Matthew 19:12). They decide not to enter marriage.

The Lord shows two directions. One is marriage built on the eternal design from the beginning (Matthew 19:4-6). The other is abstinence from marriage in body, soul, and spirit (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). Spiritual union belongs to the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:17). If someone cannot enter marriage with the understanding that it is forever, celibacy is the alternative (Matthew 19:12). Paul speaks of this gift in (1 Corinthians 7:7-8).

1 Corinthians 7:7–8

7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

When you read 1 Corinthians 7:1, 25-26, 32, 34-35, 37, the chapter opens up clearly. I encourage you to go home and read 1 Corinthians 7. It brings clarity to this subject. In those verses, Paul shows that marriage is good, but celibacy is better in certain circumstances (1 Corinthians 7:7-8, 32-35).

He also teaches that marriage is proper to avoid burning with passion (1 Corinthians 7:2-5, 9, 27). To the unmarried and widowed, he says he would prefer they remain single (1 Corinthians 7:8). Yet he also says it is better to marry than to burn (1 Corinthians 7:9).

1 Corinthians 7:9

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

The burning in 1 Corinthians 7:9 is often seen as lust, but I believe it goes deeper. In marriage, the woman’s body is not her own, and the man’s body is not his own (1 Corinthians 7:4). That speaks of mutual responsibility. When husband and wife understand each other’s needs, they help one another stay out of sin (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Marriage becomes a protection and a gift from God.

The principle is simple. If Paul remains unmarried, that is proper (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). If Peter chooses to take a wife along in ministry, that is also proper (1 Corinthians 9:5). Those are the two options.

1 Corinthians 9:5

5 Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?

The choice is clear – marriage with an eternal perspective or celibacy (Matthew 19:4-6, 12). Christ did not marry in the natural and was a eunuch for the kingdom’s sake (Matthew 19:12). Spiritually, he is married to the church (Ephesians 5:25-32). The principle is simple. If we marry, we must understand it is for life except for fornication (Matthew 19:6, 9). If someone cannot marry with that understanding, the only alternative is to remain single for the kingdom (Matthew 19:12). There is no third option. Marry for life or be a eunuch. Those who can receive it must receive it (Matthew 19:12).

Accountability and Application of Matthew 19 Verses 1-12

You may be wondering where you stand now. You have an understanding you did not have before. From this point forward, you are accountable for what you know (James 4:17). Do not seek divorce (Matthew 19:6). Some of you have suffered divorce. Perhaps you did not have scriptural grounds (Matthew 19:9). Maybe you were the offender (Matthew 19:9). Perhaps you failed to forgive. If you are remarried and do not have the gift of celibacy (Matthew 19:11-12), then you have done what Paul allowed – it is better to marry than to burn (1 Corinthians 7:9).

What is past is past. Press forward (Philippians 3:13-14). Forgive if you have not forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). If you still carry hurt, release it (Mark 11:25). If you must ask forgiveness, do so (James 5:16). Walk now in the eternal purpose from the beginning (Matthew 19:4-6). Live without condemnation (Romans 8:1). Give yourself fully to your present spouse. That is the covenant you are in (Matthew 19:6).

Do not try to return to a former marriage. That is not the answer. Remain where you are called (1 Corinthians 7:20, 24). Walk in what you now understand.

When we step back and look at Matthew 19 Verses 1-12 as a whole, the message is unmistakable. Marriage is a divine institution established from the beginning, and divorce was never God’s original intent.

1 Corinthians 7:20

20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

You are where you are right now. God has revealed truth to you, so walk in it (1 Corinthians 7:20, 24). You cannot go back and undo the past. Do not try to return to a former spouse. Instead, forgive yourself and allow God to work his purpose through you and into your children (Romans 8:28). You are saved and forgiven, so continue in what you now understand (Colossians 2:6).

I do not want to put anyone in bondage, and I want to leave here in peace (Colossians 3:15). I love you deeply (John 13:34). You know that I would lay down my life for you (John 15:13). What I have spoken is the word of the Lord (1 Thessalonians 2:13). Some of you have carried the weight of divorce without release. I do not want you to leave bound (Luke 4:18).

If you have not fully released that past, then you have been in bondage (Galatians 5:1). You may have felt disqualified. I am pointing you toward liberty (2 Corinthians 3:17). You now have light, so walk in it (Ephesians 5:8). God still has an eternal purpose for you (Philippians 1:6). Walk worthy of that purpose (Colossians 1:10). If you receive that freedom, then receive it fully (John 8:36).