Inconsistent and Consistent Warrior – Most men are very strong and powerful in some areas of life, but in other areas of life, they are inconsistent and when a man is not consistent, it affects every area of his life – marriage, family, occupation, even his relationship with the Lord. Warrior, your wife requires positive consistency. She translates consistency into security.
By Pastor Delbert Young
Inconsistent and Consistent Warrior
Inconsistent and Consistent Warrior
Our series is targeting and primarily for men. My attempt is to help men understand God created us with a WARRIOR spirit and attitude. By doing this, we will also help women better understand their men.
So, I want to begin this week as I did last time with a question. How many of you women have had times when your man got an attitude with you and you felt you had to walk on eggshells? He was nice to everyone else, but to you he was mean. You didn’t know if you could talk to him or not. Or, how many have experienced times when he simply will not pay bills, take care of finances, and doesn’t seem to care about them? Or, when sometimes he will not discipline the children, or work with you with the children. Or, when sometimes he will not mow the grass, take out the garbage, and only sits in his chair. Or, when sometimes he is passive and just doesn’t seem to care about anything enough to fix it. He is “sometimey” meaning sometimes he will and sometimes he won’t. We could say he is inconsistent and it drives you crazy. Ladies, raise your hand if you ever experienced that.
Ladies, love has not changed your inconsistent man. Neither has your attempt to “handle” him changed him. You found yourself absorbing in your soul those things that bothered you just so you could stay with him. Eventually, your absorbing turned into surviving and a drastic change took place in your marriage relationship. Some of you women are in survival mode right now and it’s because of your inconsistent warrior with his inconsistent attitude. I want to help you.
In the book of Genesis, we see God created a world and then created man in God’s image. God equipped man with everything man would ever need to maximize his potential. You sir, are limitless in ability and inexhaustible in potential. As difficult as it is to believe lady, God gave your man all the strengths he could possibly give him without making him God. Then…
Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden TO WORK IT AND TAKE CARE OF IT.
God gave man the responsibility to work and take care of the garden. Despite various conditions and difficulties that are sure to come, man is to CONSISTENTLY work and take care of everything in the garden.
Eve walked into a world where her man was equipped and powered to consistently, take care ofeverything, come what may. Here is my point. POSITIVE CONSISTENCY is of supreme importance to a woman – consistent in: work habits, emotions, temperament, finances, disciplining the children, reliability – positive consistency. I’m not talking about negative consistency – inconsistent in: irresponsibility, meanness, angry, “sometimey”, unreliability, and immaturity. With an inconsistent man, women often feel they are raising their man as if they were raising a son. So, they try to “handle” the man instead of “help” him as his helpmeet (Gen 2:18). Sir, your woman wants you to know today she needs POSITIVE CONSISTENCY. To her positive consistency translates into predictability and predictability translates into security. Ladies, am I telling the truth? Do you need positive consistency? Sir, to be the WARRIOR God made you, you must be as reliable as the sun. Ladies, your job is to “help” your man be a godly warrior by helping him be consistent. How do you do that?
Most men are very strong and powerful in some areas of life, but in other areas of life, they are inconsistent and when a man is inconsistent, it affects every area of his life – marriage, family, occupation, even his relationship with the Lord. I am sixty years old and when I am “sometimey” or inconsistent, it still affects my marriage, children, work, and my relationship with God.
You remember Peter the apostle. Before Peter was Peter, he was Simon son of Jonah. Jesus changed him to Peter. Why? Simon, like most men, was powerful in some areas, but “sometimey,” inconsistent, and shaky in others. One day Peter would be kicking it. The next day he would be blowing it. Jesus said to Simon…
Matthew 16:17-19 Jesus replied, Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah… And I tell you that YOU ARE PETER, AND ON THIS ROCK I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
The Greek word translated Peter is Petros and means a (piece of) rock. Jesus saw the inconsistency of Simon, but knew that inside Simon was Peter the warrior. Peter, in time, became the rock to build upon. Hell could not overcome him. That is what the Lord desires to do in each man. God wants to bring out the warrior in you sir.
The Bible tells us a story about a man named Gideon.
Judges 6:11 The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites.
The Midianites terrorized Gideon. Gideon hid. I’m sure he talked “sometimes” about how bad things were for his family, but as his family waited for Gideon to do something to work and take care of his garden, Gideon did nothing. He was inconsistent and complacent accepting his position as unchangeable. “It was just the way it was.”
Sir, have you ever said those type things? You talk about how bad things are, but then say, That’s just how my marriage is, or that’s just how my kids are, or that’s just how my bills are, or that’s just how I am. No. It is your responsibility to become the warrior God created you to be and “to work and take care of”things. God has an angel for you.
Judges 6:12 When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, MIGHTY WARRIOR.”
What did the angel say? The Lord is with you MIGHTY WARRIOR. Inside Gideon was a MIGHTY WARRIOR. When the angel of the Lord looks at a man, he sees a mighty warrior. If I’m of God, when I look at you sir, I see a warrior, for God sees a warrior.
I don’t have time to tell you the story of Gideon, but he did become the mighty warrior the angel said he was. He delivered himself, his family, and the people of God. The point I want you to hold right now isthe angel of the Lord changed Gideon’s life by telling Gideon who he was.
What will cause a man, created with a warrior spirit and warrior attitude and every ability to work and take care of everything, to be inconsistent? Probably the number one thing is the FEAR OF FAILURE. Every warrior, at some point, no matter about his strength or boldness fears failure. Even the most confident appearing men fear failure.
Someone told me the other day who is taking a public speaking class, how my confidence every week amazes him. Well, I fear failure every weekend. I fear I won’t communicate the lesson. I fear Life Gate won’t succeed. I may appear confident, but every week, I am a mixture of fear, nerves, and excitement.Every warrior battles the fear of failure.
Judges 6:15 “But Lord,” Gideon asked, “how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I AM THE LEAST in my family.”
“I am the weakest of all,” he said. “I come from a weak background. I fear failure. I am too weak to pull it off. I don’t have what it takes.” Gideon feared failure.
THE FEAR OF FAILURE MAKES A MAN INCONSISTENT. Failure is large to a man. Men internalize failure. We take it very personal and we interpret failure as being weak. FAILURE FEELS FINAL TO US. IT’S EXTREMELY DEPRESSING. Lady, when you see your man “sometimey,” inconsistent, and depressed, he is most likely struggling with feeling a failure.
Men do not like “second place” because second place is failure to us. Think about it. When a man wins, his arms shoot up, chest pokes out, he is up and high. He laughs! He plays! He is fun to be around. How is he if he gets second place? You didn’t see the Tampa Bay Rays out celebrating on the field after the World Series when they won second place in Major League Baseball. EVERYTHING ABOUT A MAN CONNECTS TO ACCOMPLISHMENT. The fear of failure deeply entwines in the heart of a man. If a man’s family is failing or failed, he feels like a failure and, to him, it’s not only failing at family. It’s failing at life. If a family’s finances are not good, the man takes it very personal and feels a failure. A man will base his worth on accomplishment. We internalize failure.
Ladies, why doesn’t your man want to talk to you about being fired from work? He internalizes failure. Why doesn’t he want to talk to you about the overdrawn bank account? He failed. Why doesn’t he want to talk about his addiction? He failed. So, when you attempt to “handle” him, you are down inside his heart pointing out his failures and making it worse. You are trying to help, but he gets an attitude with you. He becomes inconsistent and things get worse. Instead of “handling” him, you must “help” him. Hear what I am about to say. You can be the angel of the Lord to him reminding him he is a MIGHTY WARRIOR and you can change his life and yours. The angel of the Lord told Gideon he was not a failure. He was a MIGHTY WARRIOR.
When a man’s fear of failure exceeds his faith in God, he becomes inconsistent and that’s when things sink. We were talking about Peter’s inconsistency earlier. One night the disciples were in a boat and Jesus came to them walking on water. Peter thought that was pretty cool and asked if he could walk on water. Jesus told him to get out of the boat. Peter got out and became the only person, other than Jesus, to walk on water. But, what happened?
Matthew 14:30 BUT WHEN HE SAW THE wind, HE WAS AFRAID and, beginning to SINK, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Peter took his eyes off Jesus and focused on his fear. His fear of failure exceeded his faith and he began to sink. Is your marriage sinking? Are your finances sinking? Are your children sinking? Are addictions causing you to sink? IT SIMPLY MEANS YOU ARE FOCUSING ON YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE AND NOT JESUS. When your fear exceeds your faith, you lose confidence, become “sometimey,” and inconsistent. Sir, I respect you, but you have taken your eyes off Christ. You are like Gideon looking at your weakness and past. You are not looking at Christ and his empowerment in you as a warrior, and you are sinking.
Ladies, here is where you must be an angel “helper,” not a “handler.” Your role in your warrior’s life is larger than you can ever imagine. YOUR MAN IS BECOMING WHAT YOU THINK AND SPEAK ABOUT HIM. Show me a warrior man and there is a godly woman nearby. Oppositely, show me a weak man, I will show you a woman nearby who humiliates and emasculates her man.
I am very good at what I do, but do you know why? It’s because Judy tells me I am good. Judy knows me and Judy’s opinion, because she knows me so well, matters more to me than anyone else. She tells me things like, “Every series is good.” “You are a great teacher. I listen to many preachers and you are as good as any.” She is telling me, “Delbert you are a MIGHTY WARRIOR.” Now, I internalize that as an accomplishment and I become a warrior in that area. Listen to me ladies! The primary thing you do, the primary thing your man must know and asks is this: “DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME?” Realize women, your belief in him, positive or negative, is internalized in your man. It doesn’t matter so much what others say, but what you say is the summation. Your man must know and asks: “DO YOU RESPECT ME?”
Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also MUST LOVE HIS WIFE as he loves himself, and the wifeMUST RESPECT HER HUSBAND.
Those are not only words. It says, “MUST.” You will never have your warrior if you don’t respect your husband. Sadly, some of you women would say, “No, I really don’t respect him.” I lovingly remind you, you did at one time. If not, you would not have married him. What changed? May I tell you? It could be you attempted to “handle” his inconsistencies instead of “helping” him. You amplified his failure internalizing it, not his warrior.
Ladies, your man will never tell you this, but I will. Your admiration of him means more than anyone’s or anything to him. IF NOT, HE WOULD NOT REMAIN MARRIED TO YOU. Something very powerful happens inside a man when his woman BELIEVES IN HIM.
Ladies, if you will learn to encourage your man/warrior when he does anything righteous like paying the bills on time, working on the marriage, taking time with the children, you will call forth the warrior in your man. If he does anything spiritual, like praying over supper, or wanting to go to church, or wanting to give tithes and offering, or reading the Bible, I promise you, your world will change, your man will become a warrior for you and your children, and if you have a warrior in your home, you will want for nothing.
Sir/Warrior, you have what it takes.
Judges 6:14 The LORD turned to him and said, “GO IN THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”
Gideon, you have what it takes. Same message to you. You have what it takes. You have the power, intellect, and the desire. You have the ability to be consistent. GO IN THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE! You can do it.
Sir, what is your battle? Children? You decide, not your child, what is right. You say, “No, you cannot do that.” Then, you stick with it. You just won the battle. Finances? GO IN THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE. “No. We/I do not need this today! We can wait.” You just won the battle. Addiction? GO IN THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE. “No. I am not going to do this!” You just won the battle. Marriage? GO IN THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE. “I love my wife. She is a wonderful woman. I will fight for my marriage!” You just won the battle.
Warrior, your wife requires positive consistency. She translates consistency into security. When you are inconsistent, that inconsistency bleeds into every area of your life – marriage, family, finances, occupation, even your relationship with the Lord. You are inconsistent because you fear failure. Your fear of failure exceeds your faith in God and you are sinking. Lady, you must be the angel of the Lord to your man. Your love will not change his inconsistency. Your “handling” him will not change his inconsistency. You must be a helpmeet to him causing him to see the MIGHTY WARRIOR he is. If you will, you will change his life. He must know you believe in him and respect him. No one’s admiration is more important than yours is. If you will, you will be one happy secure woman with blessed children. For, when there is a MIGHTY WARRIOR in the house, you will want for nothing.
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