Do you think our cussing fuels domestic violence? A Christian should absolutely hate it when they cuss around their spouse. They should feel such a failure and hypocrite. A cussing husband does not display himself to his wife as her noble knight. A cussing wife does not display herself as his Cinderella or Snow White. When it happens she likely feels more as a prisoner in a dungeon. He likely feels he’s hooked up to the wicked witch. Would you suspect in most divorces cussing, profanity, swearing, blasphemy, anger, rage, etc. took place?
By Delbert Young
A Better Way Than Our Cussing
A Better Way Than Our Cussing
Scriptures: 1 Peter 3:15-16, Proverbs 19:1, Proverbs 21:23, Proverbs 15:1
From the feedback I’ve gotten, we’re getting a handle on the importance of cleaning up our attitude if we want to clean up our cussing. Stopping our cussing isn’t about getting substitute words, although I want to talk about this one day. Stopping our cussing is really about keeping our attitude updated so we don’t need to cuss.
It’s not only the words coming out our mouths. It’s the intensity of the words coming from the heart through the attitude. We talked last time about the firewall in a PC (Personal Computer). A firewall is a software program designed to stop unwanted programs good or bad from getting into the computer, but also the firewall should not allow programs inside the computer to send information out such as our credit card information, PIN numbers, Social Security numbers, bank account numbers, etc. The first defense from Identity Theft is a strong updated firewall. It’s vital the firewall be constantly updated. If not, malware will find a way around, under, over or through the firewall to get into the CPU (Central Processing Unit). The firewall to your PC (Personal Character – heart – CPU) is your attitude. Your attitude controls what gets to you and what goes out of you, but it too must be constantly updated. If not bad stuff will get into our hearts (CPU) and stuff we don’t want to come out will.
Last Sunday after church I needed to get to the hospital before the doctor came in to see Judy, so I was in a rush. I don’t know why slow drivers pick on me blocking all lanes so I can’t get around. This can be a serious cuss trigger for me. I had just taught about keeping the attitude updated. I felt my attitude going sour. I said to myself, “Update your attitude Delbert.” I did and I patiently waited for an opening. Getting upset was not going to get the opening any faster.
Proverbs 5:1 My son, PAY ATTENTION to my wisdom, LISTEN WELL TO MY WORDS of insight
The truth is no matter if we want them to or not our children do pay attention to our wisdom or lack of it. They do listen well to our words. However, around our children is a top place we display a toilet attitude. They can do things causing us to have a filthy attitude or be around us when something or someone else does. We spew filthy profanities all over the place. Our children will no doubt pick up and duplicate the cuss words. And, they will also no doubt pick up and duplicate the toilet attitude. We not only expose them to word filth, we expose them to our filthy attitudes and our inability to deal with daily annoyances, daily aggravations and daily frustrations. When our attitude is bad we’re vulnerable to outside things getting to us and things inside we don’t want to come out coming out. The attitude needs updating. We know because our attitude comes out our mouth.
I want to project to you a thought. In a book I read by James O’Connor, Cuss Control: The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing, he wrote about the principal at Southport High School in Indianapolis, principal Larry Hensley-Marschand decided to enforce the school’s long-ignored policy of no profanity in the school. His objective was to improve the quality of the language, but discovered another benefit. He said,” Every semester, we had ten or more fights in the halls, the cafeteria, or the gym. The first semester that we forbid cursing and swearing, the fights were reduced to three.”
Do you suppose the children who shot and killed many other students and teachers at Columbine High School, Heritage High School, Sandy Hook Elementary School, etc. cussed? Is there a connection between violence and swearing? Do most violent people you know cuss?
Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.
Colossians 3:8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
There is definitely a relationship between cussing and violence. Where would you suspect those children who killed so many not only learned cuss words, but also the angry violent attitude accompanying cussing? How much do you think cussing plays into bullying? How important is it to keep our firewall attitude updated simply for our children’s sake?
It’s sad but true. One of the people we will cuss around the most is our spouse. Have you ever wondered why this is? Here’s why. We feel secure in our long-term relationships and we take them for granted. Courtship and good behavior times are over. We think they must now tolerate our cussing and tirades and sadly they do, but it certainly does nothing to enhance the romantic side of things. This is especially true when the spouse feels the cussing is aimed at them. Do you think our cussing fuels domestic violence? A Christian should absolutely hate it when they cuss around their spouse. They should feel such a failure and hypocrite. A cussing husband does not display himself to his wife as her noble knight. A cussing wife does not display herself as his Cinderella or Snow White. When it happens she likely feels more as a prisoner in a dungeon. He likely feels he’s hooked up to the wicked witch. Would you suspect in most divorces cussing, profanity, swearing, blasphemy, anger, rage, etc. took place? Must update!
Proverbs 3:33 The LORD’s curse is on the HO– USE OF THE WICKED, but he blesses the HOME OF THE RIGHTEOUS.
Which do people respect and desire to be associated with: a person with a nasty attitude who seems angry cussing everything and everyone; or a person with a happy healing attitude about everything and everyone? I certainly know which I prefer. If you are an employer or a supervisor you understand the importance of an employee with an updated good attitude. You heavily rely on them and promote them to the top. They have an “I can fix it, I’ll take care of it” attitude. They can deal with the daily aggravations and frustrations. Someone with a bad attitude is avoided, not promoted, and if anyone goes, it’s the cussing attitude.
Maintaining a good attitude will help, if not accomplish, controlling our cussing and will also fix and enhance much of life. When my attitude is excellent I actually laugh at frustrating, angering and even painful situations. Maintaining a positive attitude will definitely get cuss words off the tip of the tongue where they lay eagerly awaiting to spew out stinking and defiling the environment and everyone in it.
Proverbs 15:13 A HAPPY HEART makes the face cheerful, but HEARTACHE CRUSHES the spirit.
A bad attitude will not only crush the spirit, it will crush anything and anyone around. I read a story about a computer technician who was on the phone attempting to help a man with his computer. The person needing assistance was angry and upset before he called and his attitude only grew worse from there. He was yelling profanities so loud the technician took off his headset and laid it on the desk still able to hear the man’s tirade. After a few minutes, the phone became silent. Then instead of hearing yelling and swearing, he heard sobbing. He picked up his headset asking if the man was okay. He muttered, “Yes, but my computer isn’t. This time I’ve lost everything. My data is lost forever.” The tech asked, “Did your hard drive crash?” The man said, “Yes along with the rest of the computer. I threw the F@#$%^& thing out the third floor window.” The continuation of words of profanity fueled the angry attitude turning anger into a raging and violent attitude crushing the computer. When we do not update our attitude, we crush computers, walls, doors, and hearts and lives.
Proverbs 6:2 …you have BEEN TRAPPED BY WHAT YOU SAID, ENSNARED BY THE WORDS OF YOUR MOUTH
How many traps have people fallen into because they didn’t update and adjust their cussing attitude? Our cussing attitude has never helped us. It caused outbursts of anger, broken computers, broken marriages, broken families and lost opportunities. So much could be avoided if we could only clean up and update our attitude? Our cussing never accomplishes anything good or positive.
Has anyone every told you your attitude stunk? It probably did like a septic tank. How can we clean it up? Here are 5 helps to update, clean up, and adjust our attitude.
1) STOP PROCRASTINATING. Don’t put things off you need to do until the last minute. Trying to do things at the last minute will cause stress. You become rushed. You make mistakes. You take chances. Your attitude sours and your cuss trigger will pull. Also, someone else procrastinating will pull your cuss trigger. I knew someone whose spouse procrastinated about getting ready to come to church making them late. It got to the person initially, but eventually, instead of getting all worked up about it, when it was time to go the person just left and came to church alone. Traffic and delays are not as decaying to the attitude if we’d simply not procrastinate and leave on time. There are simple things we can do to update our attitudes. How much better would our attitudes and life be if we didn’t procrastinate or allow the procrastination of others to sour our attitudes?
2) READ THE DIRECTIONS. It’s so attitude challenging to take apart what we’ve already spent hours putting together or break it when simply reading directions was all we needed to do. No one enjoys reading directions but it’s far better than developing a septic attitude and spewing skunk juice all over everything. Catching the simple little things make all the difference in our lives.
Song of Solomon 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, THE LITTLE FOXES THAT RUIN THE VINEYARDS, our vineyards that are in bloom.
3) MAKE REMINDERS THAT WORK. It’s attitude aggravating to me when I forget to do important things like fill the baptismal pool or an appointment. What is your best way to make a reminder that works? Mine is to write myself an email, but I must remember to look at my emails. What’s your best way? It’s simple, right?
4) ORGANIZE BETTER. When we can’t find something we know we possess the attitude will go sour. Where did you put your keys or the batteries for the remote you purchased last week? A little organization will help clean up the attitude.
5) REALIZE YOU WILL NOT HAVE ONE DAY WITHOUT ANNOYANCES, AGGRAVATIONS, AND FRUSTRATIONS. It’s impossible! Does this mean we need to cuss several times every day? No. For example, I must realize if I drive to see our daughter in Atlanta, it is impossible for me to drive this far and not have some driver, probably several, challenge my attitude. If I realize and remind myself this before I leave, when it happens I will smile instead of scream and say, “I was right.” Every day has its annoyances, aggravations, and frustrations.
Here’s the bottom line. Realize your attitude makes you so angry you cuss, not people and situations. There will always be another annoying person and another frustrating situation. You can’t stop those, but you can adjust, clean up, and update your attitude. Attitude is the trick to not only stop our cussing but stop needing to cuss. An adjusted updated attitude is a bright light for your life. It will brighten your life by diminishing anger, help you avoid potholes and traps, and help make you more efficient. You likely will live longer, live healthier, live wiser, and definitely live happier. Happy people are loving, forgiving, nonjudgmental, energetic, and make good decisions throughout life. You will focus on what is good and important in life, not what’s bad.
If we update, clean up and adjust our attitude, our cussing will be minimized if not stop Your heart would fill with treasure, not sewage. Our tongues will be silver, not septic. You will be a honeycomb and not a headache, a person with integrity and character, not just a character.
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